A Forced Sabbatical with Dwayne Johnson and the Stomach Flu

Your child’s friend just got over the stomach flu—a particularly nasty one that tore through the family in rapid succession. Now, the entire family is symptom-free. How long is long enough before accepting an invitation for your child to play in the former quarantine zone (aka this kid's house)? Apparently, it’s longer than a week.

My four-year-old brought home the gift of the stomach flu. It was twelve hours of vomiting followed by another twelve of fever. After everyone in the family had been through the ordeal, I thought I was in the clear until one evening. I felt a familiar sensation I had not experienced in many years.

I managed to read bedtime stories and put the kids to bed. Then I told my wife I would be out of commission for the next little while as I was going down hard. I retreated to the basement with a large jar of water.

So, I was stuck between being unable to sleep and being unable to move. This thing was really rough; I had to muster up the will to move my arm to grab a sip of water, even when severely thirsty.

This is a rarity for me. I have a list of movies friends told me I must see accumulated over the years, and this seemed like the time to take that advice. However, streaming services only offer a limited selection. Watching the suggested movies wasn’t to be.

This is an interesting situation to me. I remember when Netflix would mail any DVD you could think of to your house in a few days. Now, with streaming being the norm, selection is limited unless you are willing to rack up quite a monthly bill by subscribing to multiple services. Even then, some movies cannot be found. This lack of variety concerns the cost of paying royalties and other complicated issues that are not that fun. Because of this new system, some movies, such as 28 Days Later, cannot be found anywhere, even for purchase, because Disney lost the rights. This is another case for owning physical media. I still use my CD player. It sounds better. I don’t care if the streaming service says an album is Hi-Res lossless. Unless it’s downloaded and your phone is plugged into the aux port directly, you're hearing about twenty percent of what was recorded. I also like to own my art rather than rent it permanently. Can you imagine being unable to listen to your favorite band because of some legal battle over rights?

None of this was helpful to me in my weakened state on the basement couch. I was having difficulty caring about any movie offered, save for one.

Some of my favorite movies (and you are about to find out what type of film connoisseur I am) include The Scorpion King, The Rundown, and Walking Tall. I love Dwayne Johnson movies. My girlfriend took me to see Scorpion King in the theaters. It was my birthday request. We were married within a year.

These types of action movies are just fun if you’re not the type to take things too seriously. That was exactly the mood I was in and about my mental capacity at the time. I saw a movie pop up that had never been recommended to me. However, it was a movie I was aware of and wanted to see, though I had been unsuccessful in convincing anyone to watch it with me so far: Hercules. Had I the strength to do anything besides gently press a button on the remote, this would have been a fist pump moment.

It was everything I wanted—I think. I can’t be sure; my fever was very high, and I took frequent breaks to vomit, but I do remember enjoying it very much. Ian McShane was a total bonus; I love him in Pirates of the Caribbean and John Wick. He was fun in Hercules as well.

In the future, I won't wait until I’m on a forced sabbatical to watch something fun that I enjoy.