Follow That Bliss A Little Further

A three-year-old girl attempts to walk on a narrow concrete curb. One foot swings slowly around the other unsteadily as she wabbles with a giggle. She misses her mark, and tiny feet plop onto the street, followed instantly by a hop back up to try again. With determination, two steps in a row are made this time. She intuitively follows her bliss.

The formula isn’t secret, though it is often forgotten or ignored. We hide it from ourselves with lots of encouragement and keep it hidden with conditioning. Like the scientist Pavlov’s experiment in which he rang a bell every time he fed his dogs, we begin to associate happiness and fulfillment with something outside of us with every advertisement or sales pitch we come across.

Walking through a crowded market in a country where bartering is the standard, I would expect to be bombarded with the appeals of local peddlers. I can count on a barrage of polite pleas to come closer. A man selling dates may welcome me and then let me in on what he claims to be a secret. The price is about to go up due to problems with the harvest, but because he likes me, he will give me a special price if I buy a significant amount. Since he’s polite, I want the dates anyway, and it is a reasonable price, so I accept his offer. I buy some even if I recognize the sales tactic. I don’t mind. I did, after all, voluntarily enter a market where I expected people to be selling things, and I did so because I wanted to buy them. My defenses are up, and I have my wits about me. But wait, I had not planned on purchasing this many dates; why did I spend this much again?

But what if I’m not in the market? Or, more accurately, what if I don’t realize I’m in the market? The internet and smartphone are valuable tools, but I have found myself in the marketplace surrounded by friendly and helpful salespeople, utterly unaware of being there and vulnerable without any safeguard. The internet is a crowded marketplace filled with salespeople. The level of competition for engagement is so fierce that it has honed their skills, bringing them to the top of their game. The solution may seem to be simply not buying anything, but what is for sale doesn’t always cost money. Eyeballs are an internet commodity, and our attention is currency. I can easily find myself overspending my limited supply of time. And like Pavlov’s dog learning to associate the sound of a bell with a meal, I become accustomed to looking for happiness somewhere outside myself. Telling myself not to and knowing better the whole time, I still become conditioned to believe that fulfillment is just around the corner and will be achieved as soon as I do…something. A few more swipes or clicks, and I’ll know for sure.

So what does the three-year-old girl walking the curb intuitively understand about following her bliss? Here is a line from the interview with Joseph Campbell titled The Power of Myth; “The mission of life is to live your potentiality. How do you do it? My answer is follow your bliss. There’s something inside you that knows when you’re in the center. That knows when you’re on the beam or off the beam. And if you get off the beam to earn money, you’ve lost your life. And if you stay in the center and you don’t get any money, you still have your bliss.”

The words “something inside you that knows” struck me. Bliss is not a feeling when you reach what you are chasing. Bliss is the confirmation of listening to the part of you that knows if you are on the right track. That’s the beam we fall off of and, hopefully, hop right back on with a giggle.

The girl walking the curb is just happy. If she falls off, she gets back on. It’s fun. Nothing about this game requires approval or anything from outside herself. She understands that falling off the beam happens. It doesn’t mean anything. You get back on. Trying to stay on for longer is a fun game.

Now the girl is walking on a curb rather than a beam, but just like her, a piece of me knows when I’m on or off if I only take a moment to look. The Campbell interview drew my attention to the mistake many of us make. When I think of following something, it is easy to picture some outside influence. Something up ahead, just out of reach, that I am following and struggling to catch. Something, either a thing or accomplishment, that comes from outside of me that must be given, taken, or earned to complete my happiness.

When Campbell described something inside of us, knowing if we are on or off the beam, I realized that when he speaks of bliss, he is not referring to a feeling of happiness resulting from doing or getting something. Bliss is the confirmation that I am in touch with my inner voice. Bliss is my knowing from within that I am already on the right track. And just like the three-year-old struggling to walk down a narrow curb, I am constantly losing my balance and attempting to regain my footing on the beam inside myself. With practice, though, I can remember the forgotten skill that she’s demonstrating so well. Not perfect balance, but the impulse to giggle lightheartedly as walking this narrow path becomes a fun game.